Archive for the Sports Category

Saturday Sports Wrap Up

Posted in Sports on December 21, 2008 by darbydale

Man, what a day of action.  I didn’t watch more than 3 minutes of any one event, but that won’t stop me from going over the day’s events:

NFL:  Sweet Jesus, I couldn’t care less about this sport if I tried.  The Ravens beat the Cowboys.  Must be some playoff implications there.  I assume it was televised.

College Basketball:  I liked this version of the sport until I was 15 or 16.  After Villanova beat Georgetown in the finals, I figured I’d seen about the best game the sport was going to produce.  Truly, why watch the same dramas over and over? Anyway, I watched a good portion of the Gonzaga-UConn game.  Gonzaga, who I believe fields an all-amateur squad, blew the game in overtime.  I’m fairly certain they have one guy who has been with them since the late 90’s.  Matt something.

Premier League Soccer:  West Ham and Aston Villa have the same uniform (“kit”).  Yesterday, they played each other and Aston Villa had to switch to some baby blue abomination.  They won anyway.  I was only half paying attention, but this game sucked.

Italian Serie A:  Inter, who has a lot more money than Siena, beat Siena on one of the most ridiculous offsides goals in the history of soccer.  I can only assume that Siena’s fans aren’t very intimidating, because the game was played in Siena and the referees didn’t look frightened at all.  Jose Mourinho is awesome.  So is the Jose Mourinho puppet (just search YouTube)

NBA:  Totally meant to watch the Heat-Nets game, but then didn’t.  I don’t really remember what I did last evening.  Not drunk or anything like that.  Just not making every moment count.

NHL:  No.

College Bowl Games:  Dan Wetzel basically explains why these are a sham:  http://rivals.yahoo.com/ncaa/football/news?slug=dw-bowls121808&prov=yhoo&type=lgns

This was supposed to be a two part series with the second part coming out on Friday.  I hope he is still alive.

Cricket:  England trails India in some sort of multi-day cricket event, I think.

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Cheney Likes the Nekkid Ladies!

Posted in Genius, Kids, Sports on April 10, 2008 by lindendale

Jonesy (you know him, you love him) pointed me to this picture, straight from the White House website. The picture is of Dick from a fly-fishing trip on the Snake River in Idaho. I think I know why he is smiling!

Take a close look at those reflective shades. Yup, that looks like a naked woman to me too. She probably just seductively removed her SS prison guard uniform. Achtung!

On a side note, I don’t want to see our government leaders enjoying some nice R & R. Gee, I wonder if that trip on Air Force 2 was at tax-payer expense? Of course it was. Get back to work ya bastard! Or die. Either way.

Freestyle

Posted in Sports on March 7, 2008 by darbydale

Ok, I was going to write some goofy fight commentaries to the various videos of this sort that appear on YouTube, but this person has basically done a better job than I planned on doing.  Enjoy:http://www.withleather.com/post.phtml?pk=5206

18 Minutes

Posted in Sports on January 21, 2008 by darbydale

In between making smarmy comments and studying Greek philosophy, I like to take in the occassional sporting event.  Anyway, I got to witness this masterful 6th man performance by FGCU’s Landon Adler the other night:

18 minutes played, 14 points 14 rebounds, 4 steals and 2 assists.

http://www.fgcuathletics.com/media/2007-08/mbasketball/stats/FGCU18.HTM

A Truly Impressive Waste of Time

Posted in Sports on January 15, 2008 by darbydale

Of all the problems that could occupy mankind, this is the one that we need to focus on?

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/15/sports/baseball/15cnd-steroids.html?em&ex=1200546000&en=f0fff992c2664918&ei=5087%0A

Seriously, Tejada could have injected HGH directly into his ball sack in the middle of an at-bat during a Saturday afternoon national telecast and I couldn’t care less.

Now, this Boltzmann’s Brain problem deserves some additional investigation.  I’d like to see the cosmologists called to the carpet on this one and really given the business during a Senate hearing.  Then, later, when they developed new theories, the Senate could call them back and charge them with perjury.   That would be equally fucking useful. 

Dan is the best swim teacher. Really.

Posted in Culture, Sports on January 8, 2008 by rebeccafd

Or so the moms in the observation room of swimming lessons at the local pool would have you believe. Such comments can be reported: “Dan is the best teacher.” “Oh! X is in Dan’s class; is Y in Dan’s class? Has Y ever had Dan?” And, most interestingly, “I don’t know what it is about him, but my daughter really responds to him.” This last on more than one occasion.

And of course, the mothers are all jockeying for front row positions, because their children “insist they watch the whole time.”

Your local eavesdropper can’t help but ponder: Is Dan really the best swim teacher? What evidence do we have at hand, other than his twenty-year-old body and model-worthy smile? Are these daughters’ implied crushes and Dan’s exceptional swimming pedagogy really the issue at hand, or an excuse for thirty/fortysomething mothers to check him out instead of their poor child who is nearly drowning behind his back?

And now, at last, my son is in his class! I will report back and deliver my verdict after a close study of Dan’s teaching methods over the next two weeks. It may be more difficult to discern since they’ll be working in the deeper end. But we’ll see…

Puppet Love

Posted in Genius, Sports on January 8, 2008 by darbydale

Ok, I can’t post a video link correctly. But I’ll tell you who could: Jose Mourinho.