Archive for the Horror Category

Christian Bale is a Dick

Posted in Horror, Violence on February 3, 2009 by lindendale

I certainly have enjoyed Bale in a number of his films, but I think he is over-rated.  That’s not the issue here though.  You may remember that his freaking Mom dropped a dime on him last year for being verbally abusive.  Yeah, I think that probably happened.  This is Bale on the set of the new Terminator movie having a ‘roid rage about the director of photography distracting him.  What a class-A asshole.

The Supergroup Curse

Posted in Culture, Horror with tags , on January 3, 2009 by paulbibeau

This is from the 1963 film The Raven, based on some of the work by Edgar Allan Poe with a screenplay written by Richard Matheson, the guy who wrote the novel I Am Legend.  The movie features Boris Karloff, Vincent Price, Peter Lorre, and Jack Friggin’ Nicholson.

And yet just seeing this clip makes you realize that the movie sucks worse than watching Godfather III while getting repeatedly kicked in the groin.  How can this many stars get together and produce something that makes you give up on life?  The supergroup curse: the same thing that doomed Toto.  Like  spontaneous human combustion and the existence of the Irish, you can’t believe it’s real.  But it is.

In related news, I’ve updated my blog with a photo of Edgar’s room at UVA, and a citation from the CDC about how some scientists want to name a strain of disease Ebola-Poe.   Plus other cool stuff.

Admit it: Santa is objectively terrifying

Posted in Christmas is Ruined, Horror, Kids on December 23, 2008 by paulbibeau

It’s not some phobia from when you were young.  It’s not that kids are skittish around strangers.  He’s just really, really scary. 

Just look at this bastard.  If I saw that crawling out of my fireplace I’d start whacking it with a poker, and I wouldn’t stop until it was a wet, unrecognizable mess.  Seriously.  Close the flue.

The Facts of Life

Posted in Christmas is Ruined, Horror, Kids, Tootie on December 22, 2008 by paulbibeau

Four teenage girls and an old woman give a concert in a large prison cafeteria surrounded by convicts with no armed guards in sight. What could possibly go wrong? I challenge you to watch the whole clip without imagining scenes of unspeakable horror. (I found this at http://www.kindertrauma.com, which is a site devoted to scary childhood toys, games, and TV shows).

Unskinny Bop? Please help.

Posted in Horror on December 12, 2008 by lindendale

I don’t why.  I have no excuse, but apparently in my brain the theme song for this blog is to the tune of Poison’s 1990 hit “Unskinny Bop.”

Dale City Knightz.  Just blows me away.

Dale City Knight-Knight.  All night and day . . .

Please someone suggest an alternative, or I am going to have to give my self a home lobotomy.

Door Buster Savings ! ! ! (Christmas is Ruined, Part 1)

Posted in Christmas is Ruined, Culture, Horror, Violence on December 5, 2008 by lindendale

I don’t know why it always comes back to zombies.  It doesn’t.  Okay, this time it does.

Long Island Man Killed During Shopping Frenzy.

By 4:55, with no police officers in sight, the crowd of more than 2,000 had become a rabble, and could be held back no longer. Fists banged and shoulders pressed on the sliding-glass double doors, which bowed in with the weight of the assault. Six to 10 workers inside tried to push back, but it was hopeless.

Suddenly, witnesses and the police said, the doors shattered, and the shrieking mob surged through in a blind rush for holiday bargains. One worker, Jdimytai Damour, 34, was thrown back onto the black linoleum tiles and trampled in the stampede that streamed over and around him. Others who had stood alongside Mr. Damour trying to hold the doors were also hurled back and run over, witnesses said.

This poor fucker was trampled to death by a crowd of shoppers.  Merry Fucking Christmas.  Why the hurry?  Stop and eat his brain too.

Here’s some news footage of the incident:

Lesson: shop online.

The Big Bad is back, and I’m a bloody animal!

Posted in Horror on December 3, 2008 by lindendale

Okay you boys.  You thought we were down, but the fact is:  You can’t kill us, we’re already dead!

Look to this space for the new Dale City Knightz, 2.0.  The people demanded it.  We will deliver.  We aren’t even going to try to be topical.  You want topical, watch CNN.  You want to know the best place in my new office building to take a dump?  Stay fucking tuned.

Just to give our loyal reader(s) an illusory sense of control, why not share your input?

Lindendale out!