The Facts of Life

Four teenage girls and an old woman give a concert in a large prison cafeteria surrounded by convicts with no armed guards in sight. What could possibly go wrong? I challenge you to watch the whole clip without imagining scenes of unspeakable horror. (I found this at, which is a site devoted to scary childhood toys, games, and TV shows).


2 Responses to “The Facts of Life”

  1. Wow. I love the catcalls of the only all-white prison population in America when Tootie comes out. Nice shoulder pads. Tootie cannot sing for shit. She would be barely passable in a choir. The least she could have done is worn rollerskates.

    When Blair heads out from backstage she looks like she knows what she is heading into — like the women heading for the gang rape in “Blindness.”
    To her credit, Blair has a lovely voice and her choice of “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” was poignant and heartbreaking given that the inmates will be home for Christmas if only in (their) dreams.

    Yes, it could have gone very, very wrong.

  2. I’m not sure that a pre-breast reduction Kim Fields should be bouncing around a prison like that.

    At any point in the episode, do they call their parents to tell them that the matron of their all-girls boarding school has decided they should go entertain men in prison?

    “No, Mom. It’s fine. I’m sure they haven’t ALL been convicted of rape. We’ll probably be performing behind plexiglass anyway, so it shouldn’t be a problem at all. If the shit does go down, I’m sure they’ll go after Blair first. You’ve seen her. Bitch.”

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