Don’t Feed the Bears

It probably isn’t reasonable for me to expect to micromanage your daily activities.  Still, I can make suggestions.  Here’s one:


They don’t need free coffee at Starbucks.  They don’t need you to tell them how nice they look.  They are not one nice gesture away from fucking you.

Find somebody who is unattractive or withdrawn and give them free coffee.  Sure, there is a 15% chance they’ll stalk you.  But you know what?  They are giving you something in return for your effort.

The attractive woman you held the door for at the mall this afternoon?  You aren’t going to find her, later tonight, peering into the window of your duplex, covered in smeared clown makeup.

Seriously, the next time you are about to make small talk with an attractive woman in line, don’t.   She’s standing beside you because of a societal convention related to turn-taking.  Talk to the elderly woman who’s terrified to be out in public, but needs food for her cats.


One Response to “Don’t Feed the Bears”

  1. As an extremely attractive person, I agree. We don’t want to have to interact with ugly people or even average people for that matter. That’s why we went to private school in the first place. Really, it’s just not worth it, even if the free stuff itself is attractive, like those little tarts with the candied fruit on top.

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