Giving a Shit

Ok, in a given year, I only deal with 8 or 9 service people on a consistent (more than once) basis. Why not rank them based on my perception of how much of a shit they give?

8. My dentist: He’s fairly upbeat, but I’m almost positive that my main defining feature for him is a willingness to pay for expensive dental work. I’m telling the next dentist that I’m a street musician.

7. Sales rep for company we purchased our house from: When her company was building our house, she used to complain that we visited her at the model less than any other couple. We were never quite sure what we were supposed to be asking her about. We did stop in to use the bathroom once. She once told me that attractive women sold less houses because they intimidated the wives/girlfriends in potential buying couples.

6. Lawn guy: I’d like to think of him as one guy, but the “lawn guy” is really a crew of guys that work for a large landscaping company. He might have finished higher, but my lighted lawn penguin was askew after his last visit. What’s up with that?

5. My physician: I should give him extra points for working curse words into every appointment. Also, I appreciate our mutual agreement to postpone my next prostate exam until I’m 40.

4. Guy who sold me season tickets for local college basketball team: Somehow this involved 6 or 7 phone calls including an awkward one in which he asked if I’d be willing to switch my seats one seat to the left. Still, I’m under the impression that if I had a complaint or need, he’d make sure it was taken care of.

3. The guy who delivers for my dry cleaner: Sure, sometimes I’ll lose pants for months at a time. But who tracks them down? This guy.

2. Girl at Dunkin’ Donuts: I really think Dunkin’ Donuts should make trading cards for any employee that has been there more than a year. I have my personal favorite. Cheery, always gets my coffee order right, combines a cherubic appearance with some tattoos that look like she got them in prison.

1. The entire wait staff at my local Thai restaurant: Seriously. These people are amazing. I feel guilty when I don’t go there at least once a week.

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3 Responses to “Giving a Shit”

  1. Paul Bibeau Says:

    What I want to know is, who do you depend on without knowing it, and how do they rank?

    8. Homeland Security rep on nuclear terrorism for my region.
    7. Every paramedic who could conceivably come to my aid.
    6. USDA inspector who checks my grocery store for violations.
    5. FTD flower truck with responsibility for my area.
    4. Inspector Number 10, Hanes.
    3. Shoney’s quality control rep for my zip code.
    2. Kiwanis club that adopted the stretch of highway near my house.
    1. Guy who makes sure I get my Publisher’s Clearinghouse mailer.

  2. Paul:

    I can barely suppress the awareness of my own mortality enough to function. Now, this whole new set of worries? I’m this close to going into a fugue state.

  3. Paul Bibeau Says:

    However, tied at No.2 with Kiwanis club

    Guy who pumps drugs into the water supply to keep us all from going into a fugue state.

    The problem is, the Fox News team’s “scary music team” is tied for No. 1. So we might have a problem.

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